I’ve been going through a significant shift lately, the culmination of several years of meditation, marination, and difficult inner work. It’s not the kind of shift that is obvious on the outside. In fact, you’ll probably notice no difference at all.
But the change is happening.
And the time has come to retire some old bits that represent a part of me that no longer exists in the present.
Origin story
Pinkeerach has been my primary online handle since I had to pick a unique name on AIM (AOL’s Instant Messenger) in the late 1900s.😂 For real though, it was a while ago.
Someone had taken Pinky, and I loathed the idea of being Pinky2485. The compromise on spelling (pinkee…does that mean PinkyRach was taken? I no longer recall the logic) was a small price to pay for a unique, short handle that didn’t include a number.
So it stuck!
That handle became my online identity for years, whether in chat rooms (MUDs and MOOs were an early favorite haunt), chat clients (Trillian!), or early versions of social sites (Orkut).
By the mid-2000s, social media took hold, and I adopted the handle not only as my username but often as my first+last name, resisting the trend of using real names. By the mid-2010s, I standardized my entire Internet presence around this AIM handle I picked in the 90s.
Transformations
As a new decade started (2020), I began another transformation, one that would be larger than I could’ve imagined. I quit drinking. I quit my career. I reconnected with my painting practice. I sold everything and moved onto a sailboat. I reconnected with my music practice. I peeled back some huge layers that had been sloughing off slowly for a while.
In July 2026, I attended a women’s circle where I fully solidified the shift I’ve been preparing for over the last 5-6 years. Those layers came off all at once, it seemed.
And now? There are quite a few vestiges that no longer belong, like an old comfy blanket that made me feel nostalgic now makes me itch and writhe with discomfort. One big one, @pinkeerach, doesn’t fit anymore. I’ve changed shape. I’ve outgrown the identity.
A Wildling
I want to introduce you to @PinkyWildling. Again, I reluctantly have to modify Pinky since it’s taken on nearly all platforms. And yet it’s an opportunity to explore something specific. I am most definitely in my Wild Woman era, so something including “wild” seemed appropriate.
A wildling is a wild, i.e., uncultivated plant or animal, according to the dictionary. And that fits! I’m an organic being who’s wild again, unbound and unbothered by the limitations I’ve grown up with.
So here I am, wild and free, on a path that is not clear or well-defined. I’m making my path up as I go, and saying yes to many wild things that I’m presented with (and no to many “normal” options).
Will you see this change? Maybe. It doesn’t matter if you experience my change. Why share all this? Eh. I find reading other people’s transformation stories to be interesting and sometimes helpful. Perhaps this will help someone. Perhaps it’s merely entertainment.
Either way, I’m fucking wild. Look out, world!
